André Louf, OCSO (1929-2010) served thirty-four years as the abbot of the Cistercian monastery at Mont des Cats and had long practical experience mentoring people in discernment. His 1992 work Grace Can Do More gives powerful advice for helping people hear God’s voice.

According to Louf, God’s voice can become obscured by something we all have, an “inner policeman,” who tells us what we ought to do. He enforces a rulebook which includes both truth and misconceptions picked up along life’s path. The misconceptions seem like real rules. But they can get in the way of hearing God’s voice.

What does this look like? For example, picture the young person who says: “I’m afraid of entering seminary, because I’m not good enough.” Or “It wouldn’t be right to enter religious life when it’s bound to disappoint so-and-so.” The discerner feels bound by a rule about ‘being good enough” or “never disappointing.” But these are not Christ’s rules: they are false rules obscuring Christ’s voice. If we hear someone talking like this, how can we help?

Louf’s advice is surprising: he recommends responding with silence! Let the discerner continue to explain his doubts, fears, and plans. If he stops talking, let there be a time of silence. Ask a question now and then to understand better. Express concern or sympathy. Do not contradict. According to Louf, quick contradiction can reinforce the idea that discernment is about following certain rules, and that the discerner simply hasn’t found the right rules yet. Silence diffuses this view; it opens a space to listen for God.

Next time you are having a conversation with a discerner, listen. If he says something like, “I should not be a priest . . . or get married . . . or enter religious life for such-and-such a reason,” you could respond with: “Oh, you should not let that stop you! St. Peter had many problems when Christ called him. Christ is so merciful, etc.” This would be true and possibly helpful.

Or try Louf’s advice. Let there be a period of silence. Ask a question or express sympathy. Don’t contradict. The power of silence is worth trying. By practicing silence, you can help the discerner listen for God’s voice.